Methods of Friendship

One of the things I have been learing about this last year is how people be friend. its a lot more then 'you are cool and I am cool lets chill.' The way enteracte with each other, how they plan to get together and even how they treat each other.

Spontenaity vs. Plans
there seem to be people who hang out in two fashions. One is a "i'll call you" method where the plan to hang out is "this weekend." eventually you get a phone call and go chill right then and there. Then there are those who make plans, dates, times, things to do.

Extrovert vs. Introvert
Extro's can just hang out with anyone, anytime. They are much more spontaneous, hanging out needs no direction, just good vibes and creativity. Intro's on the other hand want/ need a plan. They can't function without some sort of goal for their hanging out. Just doing nothing is often not possible.

Extroverts ---> Spontaneity
Introverts ----> Plans

Now I am not saying that all people neatly fit into the above categories, but people often lean one way or another, between the four.

I myself am an extroert, but often need plans. Its just kinda become who I am. While this isn't a negative thing, being only like this can hamper one's abilities to make friends. I often found myself wanted a reason to hang out on a particular day to do something. Much of the people who I have met perfer that getting numbers and just chillin' occur.

The thing is, to be just chillin', you often need a clique of friends who can interact well together. I personally abhor cliques, as they often are exclusive, create bonds by excluding others, force conformity and make members not hang out with others.

I prefer to be friends with everyone, which has given me friends all across the bay area and all the state of california. This my social learning has been not about spontaneity, but plans and such. THis doens't mesh well with mot of the people I have met.

Thu I am seeking a middle ground between spontaneous and plans. More like saying we should do X eventually, I will give you a call. At he same time, I would plan to hang out with someone on day Y and we have a start or an end but not defined path.

Its hard changing one's methods of being a friend, but I am learning.